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Unwanted Thoughts
"Unwanted
thoughts; How to deal with unwanted
thoughts and desires."
06/19/89 Satsang
(Discourse) With
Maitreya |
Maitreya:
You never know with God, how it's going to turn
out. You have to love Him and trust that it's
going to work out fine. You're going to get your
purified desires but don't be impatient.
Guest: I don't even think I
know what my desires are. Except I think I know
that one of my true desires is to go to the
Father, to be One with the Father. I know I have
a lot of minor desires.
Maitreya: Like what?
Guest: Like my desire for a
relationship, for marriage or what- ever. I know
that's a very strong one. In fact I don't know
if I've been going about it the right way but I
had been trying to work on the attachment to
that desire after I left here last time, because
when I was here in the winter, I realized how
strong that had become. I realized that it was
an attachment that could get in my way, and that
I needed to work on it.
Maitreya: When you come close
to God, whatever impurities and desires you have
become much more magnified. It's just like a
pond, as long as you don't stir it, it doesn't
look that dirty. The sediment and the dirt are
accumulating down at the bottom of the pond, and
you don't even know they exist. Now stir that
water and see what happens.
You will see that dirt underneath will come out.
You will say, "I didn't even know that so much
dirt existed in this pond. I thought this pond
was so clear and clean. I've been working to
clean up this pond for a long time. What are
these junks coming up?"
That is why the moment you turn toward God you
see you are bound more with dirt, junk and
creatures in you. That is why it's a good time
to clear them up, because when you stir them up
and they come out then you can skim them off,
take them out of the water, and make the water
clean. So it's not very surprising that when you
came here you saw your desires much more
magnified, and you could clearly face them.
That's another thing we do here. In the
Communities of Light you have to face
yourself because there are so many light beings
living here, and everyone is working on one
another. It's just like a play. It's something
that you cannot escape from, being in a very
intense environment, and that intensity,
psychologically, physically and spiritually, is
purifying.
It's not a community based on the
self-centeredness that, "I have my little house,
I have my wife and child and that's it. I don't
care what my neighbor does." That is not a
Community of Light. Even a married couple living
in one house with their children have problems,
and that is intense. But now expand that to a
community where every-one has to relate to one
another, love one another, and bring God and
light into it.
People who are attracted to such communities
have a lot of light in them. They are very high
beings that even desire to live in such an
environment. Still, when they come to this kind
of environment they see, "Oh look, I still have
so many things to go through." And that is good.
You shouldn't be discouraged because you have so
much to go through, but indeed you have to be
very happy because it is the environment in
which "I" can eventually face these creatures.
If I have to go through something, it means it
is something I have to go through. So the sooner
you go through it, the sooner you're going to
get over this, and you will be free sooner to do
whatever you are here to do and have been called
to do. So the Community of Light is an intense
environment.
For instance, there is a Guru in India who used
to have Intensive Courses. What they did was
create very intense environments where the
people had to confront one another and
themselves. But I say, "Why do you need an
Intensive Class? Life itself is intense. It's a
class. You don't need to create an Intensive
Class to allow people to face themselves." Now
in the Communities of Light
that life becomes probably 100 times more
intensified.
Question: This is like one of
those intense classes but you're living it in
your real life?
Maitreya: That's right. It's
even more intense than those classes because
those classes just lasted for a couple of days.
But the intensity in the Communities of
Light is constant. You constantly have
to face yourself, to examine yourself, to
realize and pick up different energies. It's
easy just to close your house and live in a
house by yourself. to live in a close
environment (only your own house or alone) is
kind of an inverted environment, you fall back
to yourself. And when you fall back to yourself
you create a lot of fears from outside. It
becomes like a trap for you. That's why there is
a lot of fear in many people. In the environment
where people only care about their own house, or
their own family, they cut themselves off from
the rest of society, and actually crime thrives
because no one cares about the neighbor or the
other person.
They even become more fearful as the crimes
become more intense. They lock themselves in
more, and the fears are intensified. They care
even less for the outside. The outside becomes
worse. They fall back and the cycle goes on and
on.
But if they open themselves up and create the
Communities of Light, crime is
going to go away. It has no choice, because
darkness can only exist when there is no light.
When the light comes can the darkness exist? No.
You go into a dark room and flip on the switch.
The light comes on and the darkness is gone.
So darkness is not really powerful. It's very
powerless. Darkness is powerful to a lot of
people because they don't know Light. The moment
you know Light the darkness is gone. You wonder,
what happened to it? What happened to all my
desires, fears, attachments, etc? They are not
there any longer. They just vanish. Darkness is
not really something that you have to fight
with. The only thing you have to fight
for is to bring your focus back to God all the
time. The more you are in focus with God, the
farther away the darkness will be.
Question: So even when I feel
those attachments, desires and fears, and then
just let them go, I then immediately try to
remember to bring my focus back to God? Like
maybe saying, Thank you Father for touching me,
realize that God is touching me. Because I've
been doing some of that.
Maitreya: Right. I used to give
Satsang even before I started the
Mission about what I called creatures.
These creatures run people's lives, and have
control of their lives. They can be called
principalities.
Actually that is our sub-conscious mind. It's
programmed after many lifetimes and this life.
So as I said, we act in different situations in
a certain way because we have been programmed to
react that way. And also it was imposed on us to
have a special kind of lifestyle.
Society has imposed on us, that because you are
a woman you have to do this and this. You have
to marry, have a child and so on. Or you are a
man, you have to go through this, get a job, get
married and so on. So some of our desires are
really not ours, they're society's desires which
are things we think we should be doing. If we're
not doing them we are worthless, we are not
accepted. This is again a kind of longing for
human attention, for human acceptance, because
we want to be accepted by society. We want to be
respected by our elders and our family, etc. And
we sometimes feel that if we don't do those
things the way they want us to do them, they are
not going to respect us, they are not going to
love us, and they are going to reject us.
Actually, we reject ourselves first because we
have set up a goal and a certain way that things
should happen to us. Then when they don't happen
the way we want, we start feeling worthless, and
we start rejecting ourselves. When we reject
ourselves we feel that they have rejected us.
But in truth no one is worthless because we are
all created in the image of God. How can anyone
be worthless? How can anyone be a failure? How
can anyone not be what God wants them to be?
Sometimes we are not supposed to be married, we
are not supposed to have children, we are not
supposed to be educated, we are not supposed to
have a lot of money.
All those things are what many people desire.
Some people are not going to be happy even after
they've obtained them. Someone works and makes a
lot of money. He buys a big house. He buys a car
and a lot of things.
No one likes a person who is a show off, who has
a lot of money and is trying to show it off to
everyone, "Oh I have this mansion and expensive
car," etc. The people who really pay attention
to them don't pay attention to them for
themselves but for their money. And they know
it. In their very essence they know that this
attention is not real. In their essence they
really are lonely for real love, for real
attention. All that money didn't buy what they
were longing for.
Some people want to be married and have a wife
or a husband. They think, "If I get married,
that's it, I'll be happy." They get married.
They won't be happy, because you never can find
happiness in another person. If I am looking for
happiness and love, and my part-ner also is
looking for happiness and love, neither of us
have it. We both are looking for the same thing.
If you are looking for something, that means you
don't have it, you need it. Just like (I put it
always in a monetary sense because it's much
easier for people to relate to), if I don't have
money and you don't have money, how can we help
each other monetarily? Neither of us have money.
So I can't give you any money, neither can you
give me any.
If you don't have love, if you don't have
happiness, and if I don't have love and I don't
have happiness, we both are seeking for the same
thing. Then I want you to give me love and
happiness, and you want me to give you love and
happiness. But you don't have it and I don't
have it. So I can't give it to you, and you
can't give it to me. Then what happens? You
marry and you see this person doesn't have it
either. You become unhappy, you become
despondent. You become agitated about the whole
life, and you start blaming your partner. And
your partner starts blaming you, because you
don't want to see the faults in yourself. No one
wants to see fault in oneself. If you
don't meditate, you don't really want to know
yourself.
Most of the people are always looking for
someone or somewhere to blame for their
problems, because they don't want to see what is
in themselves. But if you know God, you connect
with Him and you have the Love and Happiness and
Fulfillment from God, then you have it. Everyone
is looking for what you have, and everyone will
come to you. Then you can give it to them and
fill them up. When they are filled up, they can
give it to other people. Then they can fill them
up. It's just like warm fuzzies, the more you
give, the more there will be. So you become full
of this beautiful Love of God which goes through
you all the time.
Then you realize, that is what I was looking for
all my life. I wasn't looking for a
relationship. I wasn't looking for a man, or a
woman, or a child, or money, or anything. I was
looking for this Love. That's when you find the
partner you want, you need and you're looking
for. You suddenly see everything is happening
for you. Before this happens you were looking
for it in the wrong places. Focus on God, the
rest will be provided, if it is His Will. Then
you know, that's good. That's good.
Question: How come I felt that
I already knew that but just hearing you say it
made such a difference? The Father coming
through?
Maitreya: That is what Satsang
is. Actually it is said, you meet your teacher
when he says things that you already knew.
Question: You meet your teacher
when he says things that you already knew? Why
is that? That's not hitting me.
Maitreya: You just said it
yourself. That you already knew everything I
just said. But when I say it, it becomes clearer
for you.
Guest: Clarity. OK.
Maitreya: Because I'm not just
saying it, I'm touching your Soul with it. I'm
stirring it up for you. I'm bringing it more
into focus for you. That is what Satsang is.
That's why Satsang is so powerful and that's why
it is given.
Guest: Thank you. Thank you
Father. I was saying before that I was having
all these thoughts and it really bothered me
because I was having some thoughts, a lot that
had to do with you. And it just bothered me
because here is this person that I know I'm
supposed to respect and love.
Maitreya: You're not supposed
to do anything.
Guest: I think I'm supposed to.
Maitreya: You're not supposed
to, you know. You do it because you want to. You
desire to.
Guest: Yes, yes. And yet I was
having all these thoughts toward you coming up
that I didn't like and everything. And I was
saying, here's this holy person, and then
remembering that when I was younger I always had
this animosity towards people who were supposed
to be holier than thou. That helped a lot when
that came to the surface because a lot of those
people would say and not do, "You should be like
this" and so forth and yet not do it.
Maitreya: Well, sometimes it's
much easier to say than to do it. You have to
have compassion even for those who say and don't
do because really what they say is the desire of
their Soul, what they want to be. To want to be
what they say and yet not be what they say is
what they're going to blame themselves for even
harsher than you blame them, for the failure
they are. So in a sense to be a complete master
who says and does also, is very rare.
Guest: It feels so good. Some
of them little demons left!
Maitreya: Do you have a lot of
demons?
Guest: It felt like I did. I'm
sure there are some more. And if I'm sure of it
that means there are, right?
Maitreya: Everyone has them.
What kind of thoughts did you have about me?
Guest: Sexual thoughts. And I
did what you said. In my meditation or before I
was going to sleep at night, I lived it out and
saw the emptiness of it. I saw the only reason I
was having the sexual feelings towards you was
because what I was really looking for was what
you would be able to transmit to me.
Maitreya: Yes. It is very
natural for the people to have sexual thoughts
about me. It is not unnatural because that's the
only way they know how to express their love,
especially women. But they really love me with
their Soul. And eventually they transform that
energy to the Soul level.
Guest: As we bring it up?
Maitreya: Exactly. Eventually
you really want to love me in that level, not
with sexual energy but in the highest level of
God energy. And when you love me that way, then
you will be in the ecstasy of the Love of God.
That ecstasy is even greater than any sexual
experience that anyone ever had.
Guest: I know because in one of
my relationships I got to see some of the
emptiness of sex. Well, I know I saw it before
that too, but that really was what made me
decide to stop. Until I get married, I will not
have sex with anyone.
Maitreya: Very beautiful. We
have to find men and women who are clear about
this, very clear. The more they become
disciplined to keep themselves for marriage, the
more they can transmit the energy to the higher
thoughts. When they marry, they marry with a
good reason, because they marry for God, not for
just a sexual relationship or something else.
Because they never had any sexual relationship
before marriage, that is not the greatest part
of their relationship. Their real attraction
becomes more and more for what God wants them to
be, to be a cou-ple, to create children, to
become a base of society, to bring God into
their family, to make their family environment a
beautiful place for other people to come and see
what a relationship based on God does. And the
two people are one in God. It's not that kind of
a marriage where, "OK, if I divorce you now I
can get half of the house."
Guest: Very temporary.
Maitreya: And very crude, very
low level consciousness. I'm glad that you have
decided that. It is a very beautiful decision.
And don't worry about those thoughts. They are
there. You can sometimes do nothing about them.
The only thing is, realize that they are not
from the Highest and just let them go.
Eventually they will vanish. And one day you
will see, we are already One.
Actually the whole universe is a sexual organ,
in a sense, because it creates, recreates,
procreates, etc. In a sense, sex is a very
spiritual energy. It is a very powerful energy.
Even when the couple marry, they have to
concentrate all the time that all their
relationship, including sex, is really God. Then
God is the Enjoyer, it's not them. Even that has
to be transformed more and more toward God
relationship. Eventually the physical
relationship becomes very, very unimportant.
Your love for each other becomes very strong,
and you become One. Then, even if the physical
relationship wasn't there, it wouldn't mat-ter,
because you love one another for some higher
reasons. So nothing is bad. Whatever God created
in this universe is good (God), but it is from
three kinds (ignorance, passion or knowledge).
About the topic of sexual thoughts, there is a
story about Krishna (the Hindu god). The story
is that Krishna (Christ) was so beautiful that
all the girls around where he lived were in Love
with him. They talked about nothing but Krishna.
They ate, slept, walked, and smelled with the
thought of Krishna.
So every night they all would go to the river
bank, 15,000 of them. There Krishna would join
them and would multiply Himself. Each girl would
have a Krishna to herself, and they all would
dance and make Love the whole night.
See the story says they would make Love the
whole night. This Love-making is not referring
to regular physical love-making, but spiritual
ecstasy.
Krishna, as God, is present in each of us. He
has already multiplied Himself so each of us can
have a Krishna with His enticing flute. When we
find this Krishna, then we can direct our
longing for external attention or love to
internal ecstasy and Joy (Ananda). Then the
sexual desires for our teacher becomes our
intense Love (Devotion) for him and God.
Still it might have the appearance of sexual
longing or desires but it is much higher. It is
like falling in Love every moment in our lives.
When the thought of sexual relationship vanishes
in this process, the pure Love remains. That is
the creative power in you. It is strong and
powerful. That is the Love which can move
mountains. That is when you Love God with all
your Heart, Mind and Being.
The climax of such a Love is the moment of
complete unity with God...!
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